sad, sadness

Monday 5-9-2011 8:15 a.m



I have been creating this blog some time ago to express my feelings for you! The love the passion and my devotion! This place is supposed to be our love nest a place of love, sharing every aspect of our love and life!!! Unfortunately life cannot always be full of happiness and joy!! A big part of it is bitter and full of pain!!!!

A day like this was yesterday. Had a huge fight with my wife about a thing but this was just the reason to awake our biggest problem our relation our marriage and finally ending to the conclusion that a divorce might be a possible solution to our problem. She had to leave with kids to a b-day party so I wrote you an email knowing you had a busy Sunday!!! One of the things I wrote you :



Today is not a nice day having a biiiig fight with m almost reached the point to pack my stuff and leave

we exchanged heavy words and she asked divorce... Feeling so sad and frustrated i smashed my hand on the table and got the pain back on my neck (hernia)

felt it like electricity heatig u back...



Feeling so bad so lonely....thank God you are also there my love and I see light within the tunnel!!

I LOVE YOU my angel and I hope you doing good.





Well after that you appeared on FB chat telling me you were very emotional and that God and Holly Spirit have talking to you and telling you that you dont follow HIS path …

And that you should be obedient to his path regarding evey aspect of your life!! Well what can i say : as I told you also the period in May when this happened i will tell it again:

I do respect this decision and I cannot go against it! If this is your will I’ll back off now matter how I feel no matter what I feel.

It only hurts so much like a knife twisted in my heart….it hurts a lot…



I’m not mad at you, I’m mad at myself that I let him fall in love with all his power and then i get hurt….

All these years I dont give a damna bout myself and I became a carpet for everyone to step on me….

If you give me one good thing I’ll give you hundred back ..this is me…



Last night i felt every minute every second of every hour passing by… sunk in deep thoughts the first morning hours round 5 a.m felt asleep.

Thoughts going back and forth inside me and the worse case scenario that is now reality.

If this is your wish I wont do anything . We stay “friends” but you’ll never hear from me.

I will go through it.. I’m used to.. tears…

Will I manage? Time will show. I want you to be happy. Do I love you?....



River follows one direction and never goes back.